I feel like I owe it to my readers to give you all a bit more insight into my life. Obviously, this blog is a bit dated but I was just scrolling through some of my old posts and it’s ridiculous to me how fast time moves (and how much can change in less than a year).
I have a post about what it feels like to adult, where I talk about moving into an apartment with my boyfriend, having to build IKEA furniture for the first time, how to use a can opener and essentially figure out how to be an adult. And it’s funny because since that post, I have now moved back in with my mom after breaking up with the aforementioned boyfriend, and I’ve learned to navigate an entirely new world on my own (cue Les Misérables music.) Throw in a pandemic, getting laid off from my job, a cocktail of anticipatory grief + depression + anxiety and VOILA! A recipe for disaster in the life of Lexi.
However, as challenging as it was to go through all of this, I’ve learned to adapt and better understand myself. Here’s a quick breakdown of everything I’ve done since the beginning of 2020 (and a small recap of the shit–show 2020 has been so far…)
- Recorded a cover of Selena Gomez’s “Lose You To Love Me” and filmed my first ever music video
- Took a trip to Seattle with my mom and sister
- Bought a new car (a shiny, blue Toyota Rav 4 😍)
- Applied to grad school at Ryerson University in Toronto
- Got accepted into grad school….WOOT WOOT!
- Downloaded dating apps (*cue Jaws theme music…*)
- Deleted the dating apps
- Threw myself into my work and took on new freelancing projects
- Booked a trip to Croatia and Italy with my best friend
- Cleaned up my social media feeds
- Recorded my first, original single 🎧
- Coronavirus hit…
- Was laid off from my full-time job
- Had a mental breakdown
- Jumped on dating apps again
- Started dating an engineer
- Quickly realized I actually prefer being single?
- Started researching where to buy a French Bulldog in Calgary (because dogs > dating)
- Bought a puppy
- And now I’m here.
And here means, well, I don’t know what it means. I think it means I am doing the best I can with the circumstances I’ve been provided. If the coronavirus pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that the cliché “tomorrow is not promised” has never rang truer. One day I’m finalizing flight details for my #Summer2020 girls trip to Europe, and the next day I’m wondering if it’s safe to go to a grocery store. I’ve also learned that No, it’s not a good idea to text your ex. Pandemic or not.
Unfortunately, time waits for no one, and it took an entire pandemic to make me realize that. The best medicine for me has been to seize control of my life and to give up that feeling of endless rushing from one task or commitment to another with the sense that I am not doing anything well enough to satisfy anyone, least of all myself.
The reality is that pandemic or not, none of us ever knows what tomorrow holds… coronavirus has forced us to face that. My goal is to maintain this same level of humility and resilience when life (and the law) return to “normal,” whatever that turns out to be. I hope the same for you!